Desert Diva

Somehow, I like traveling all by myself better than traveling with others - well, except for Cali. I move at my own pace, do what I want to do, and don’t have to be concerned about making others happy. So, that’s what I’m going to do for the remainder of this trip.

Clutching at straws, I just called the University of Washington Medical Center in Seattle (Orthopedics and Sports Medicine) to try to get “one more opinion” regarding my wrist. I’m going to fax my records (yes I took them with me) and if they will see me, I’ll travel there for a consultation. The center is the highest rated in the western part of the United States. It seems like the “right thing to do.” I just want to be sure I’m doing everything possible.

I’m not really taking photos yet, but Fleur de Lisa (she has the best links) turned me on a site where you can view your photos from a year ago. I love this one of Hat Lake in Lassen Volcanic National Park.

I might have to do a little shopping since I brought one pair of jeans and the temperature was in the 50’s here. Today it is sunny, hovering right around 70 degrees.

I keep waiting for the inspiration and joy of photographing to “take me,” but I find myself being “overly pensive” about my wrist. I want it fixed - now.

Northern California inland is a desolate smoke-filled land. I’m glad I’ve traveled through the area, and plan to go back another way to New Mexico.

I’m in Folsom, California (home of the infamous prison) staying with my friend Doc (Iris). Doc is having major radiator problems and will probably be here for another week or so. So, come Monday I’m heading out to meet the WIN’s in Port Orford, Oregon for the July 4th weekend.

I have to say I’m much better after having steak on the barbie with a couple of glass of Merlot. I’ve been playing with Doc’s dog Angel, who she says is a cross between a wire-haired terrier (mother) and a long legged salesman (father). Actually, I think Angel is part “dingo.” She’s a sweet girl, who like to cuddle and chase the Frisbee. She’s somewhat of a “whirling dervish” when she’s playing and is a riot to watch. Poor Cali is sleeping in the RV, since she has a propensity to chase the two cats that are living here. Poor Milo actually ran and perched on top of the refrigerator after Cali routed her out this a.m.

When I got to Laughlin, I had somewhat of an “icky” heat rash that is now under control. My plan is to hang out on the coast and then see Doc and a couple of other WIN’s when I go through Sisters, Oregon (near Bend). At any rate, life is “better” and I’m “relaxing.”

I’m in Galt, California which is a few miles from Wilton where my friend Doc is staying. I received an e-mail from by brother Gary (who I probably feel the closest to even though we aren’t in day-to-day contact) that gave me warm fuzzies. Everyone struggles - it seems to be a fact of life. I’m working on my “attitude” and “perspective.”

This morning from highway 99, I saw a church billboard that said:

Be Kind - Everyone has their own battles.

It’s true, and I’m luckier than most. That doesn’t take away that I’m struggling right now with a malformed, painful wrist. However, as far as I know we only get one shot at this journey called “life.” I need to cherish and embrace the “good.” I haven’t taken any photos yet, since I’ve been on a “mission” to get to the Sacramento area. Even though she shouldn’t, Cali favors sitting on my lap while I’m driving. It’s comforting, to both of us I think.

Killlashandra wrote a comment to me recently, saying that she saw a post on her feed that was no longer there. The truth is that it’s there - just not for the world to see and “critique.” Since I’m talking about Killlashandra who lives a “few miles up I-25″ from me near Albuquerque, it seems timely to quote from her blog “Full Time in New Mexico” on why she writes:

I write because I like words and photography. Combining the two and expressing my own experiences, sharing those ups and downs allows me to make friends, help and support those friends, and receive a hug when needed too. We’ve all got stories to tell, and we’ve got stories we wish others not to experience too, by giving back, hopefully everyone can come away with a little bit of something for themselves too.

I couldn’t agree more. However, as Fleur de Lisa has eloquently said:

Some things, many things, are best left out of the public eye. I don’t want to get dooced, for one thing.

Which brings me to the point… I changed the post that Killlashandra is referring to as a “private post.” I don’t think I’m crazy (however some may beg to differ), but sometimes I do “kick and scream.” I wrote a post that identified my orthopedic surgeon by name, provided a link to his personal website, and generally “spewed venom.” I’m a*n*g*r*y - there I’ve said it.

The written word has power - power to heal and help, or power to defy and destroy. In addition, a photograph is “worth a thousand words” as someone once said. My “tagline” for this blog is “One Woman’s Journey on the Road of Life.” Lately, I’ve hit some big “potholes.” I want to be true to myself in what I’m feeling, but rationally I need to “edit the content.” The world as a whole is not “kind and understanding,” and I don’t want what I write to be used in a negative manner.

Case in point: Heather Armstrong of Dooce says this in her FAQ:

Why can’t I see any posts from those first few months?
Because I was very naive and stupid when I first started this website, wrote horrible things about my family and their religion, and when they found what I had done I took everything down and had a little meeting with myself about boundaries.

Uh, yeah - that could be me… So, I’m “putting on the brakes” so to speak. Who would buy Cali dog food if her “mom” was out of a job or in jail?

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Manic Monday is hosted by the creative and introspective Fleur de Lisa

Are you a talker or a listener? Is it ever possible to really be both?

• When I’m in a new situation or I don’t know the people I’m with well, I’m definitely a listener.  On the flip side, I do believe that I “have an opinion” and if the situation is right like to “discuss.”

Do you think God has a sense of humor?

• To be honest, I’m not sure of anything related to God at the moment.  I seem to have “lost my faith.”  However, one of my favorite songs is “What If God Was One of Us.”

If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see?
If seeing meant that you would have to believe,
In things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints and all the prophets…

Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you ever experienced it?

• I believe in attraction or infatuation at first sight.  However, I believe that loving someone is a process - sometimes a lifelong one…  Therefore, no I’ve never experienced “love at first sight.”

Hidden in the shadows, someone recently showed me that they cared - that someone was Luz of New Beginnings. I met Luz on Flickr, as a result of first meeting her boyfriend Mario and commenting on his photos. Luz asked me to send her my address, and I was fully expecting to receive a card. However, going to my mailbox today I was amazed to see the newest CD by Ottmar Leibert - “The Scent of Light.” (Luz and I are both “fanmencos” of Ottmar Liebert.) Tears come easily these days, and I found myself “teary” on my way to have my morning latte.

Even with my rudimentary knowledge of Spanish, I know that La Luz means “The Light.” I don’t believe that it was a coincidence that Luz in her own special way was sending me “light” in my hour of darkness. I can’t thank Luz enough for taking the time out of her busy life to show me that someone cares and I’m not alone in my struggles. Additionally, my regular blog friends have been wonderful also with words of concern and support.

So, thank you Luz - for caring and thinking of me.