This is a concrete statue of a Buddha that I bought a few years ago. The red metal in the background is from an old running board that I found while “exploring” on the Oregon Coast. Sometimes, in the early evening I like to sit in my backyard with incense and a glass of wine and relax near the statue.
No, I’m not actually a Buddhist. However, I think many lessons can be learned from this great teacher. I’m not going to use this post for spiritual philosophy, but having this in my backyard brings me great peace.
I wrote a protected post about some “unfortunate” things that happened to me. I encountered some very jealous people, had some very expensive auto and RV bills, and had my faith shaken. Believe it or not, the worst was having my faith shaken. I was exhausted and “the light at the end of the tunnel” seemed a million light-years away.
A “growing edge” for me is to realize that not all people are friendly (or even rational). Mean-spirited people are a part of life, and I owe it to myself to realize and cut off toxic relationships immediately. What I find more difficult though is to forgive those who intentionally hurt me. My first inclination is revenge – hurt those who hurt me just as much. However, that reduces me to a hateful, lonely person and I have no desire to be such a pitiful soul. Therefore, I choose to forgive (I can’t say I approve of behavior or forget).
I was afraid for a short time that I would become a recluse. I’d stay at home and build an invisible fortress around my heart and soul – letting no one in.
That’s just not who I am…
I have a home, an “acceptable” retirement income (even though I cashed out an annuity to buy the Lazy Daze and had to pay the I.R.S. and the State of New Mexico this year), caring cyber friends, great neighbors, and a 13 1/2 year old wonder dog named Cali. I suffer from an anxiety disorder, but it’s usually controllable. I “am” thankful for all the good things in my life.
I’ve beat myself up for the mistake I made with my car. However, I was distracted by the yammering of someone who wouldn’t quit. It surprises me though because a negative of my anxiety disorder is that I’m a “checker” – I check door locks, etc…
Life goes on and as far as I know this is the only “go round.” I’ll be fine due to the grace of God/Spirit/Universe and a “little help from my true friends.”