Desert Diva

Only the Good Friday is hosted by the eclectic, but multi-talented Shelly.

My friend Luz at New Beginnings (who I’m going to meet face-to-face in Santa Fe next week) is responsible for my discovery of DailyOM which offers a daily inspiration.

Yesterday’s “inspiration” was titled “Small Gestures Make a Big Difference.”

People may not even take notice, much less return the kindness, but you can take heart in the fact that you are creating the kind of world you want to live in with your actions.

When you are out in the world, remember to be aware of others, lend your hand when one is needed, and give this help without an ulterior motive. Through these small actions, you make this world a better place in which to live.

I’ll never forget being on vacation by myself in rural Vermont several years ago.  I was driving through a small town near evening and it was raining heavily.  I was attempting to get to my destination before nightfall and was slowed down by driving through the center of town, combined with the inclement weather.

On my left, I noticed an older woman standing in a park in the rain.  Something told me to stop and see if she was alright. (This was before I had a mobile phone.)  She told me she had taken a walk and couldn’t find her way home.  She couldn’t tell me her address, but described what her house looked like.  The town was so small that it turned out she lived in a retirement home in a large converted old house.

It turned out that she had Alzheimer’s/Dementia and had managed to leave the house for “a walk.”  The staff was relieved to say the least.  I’ll never forget what “doing the right thing” meant to this woman on a rainy evening.

Acts of kindness sometimes take so little effort and time, but mean so much in impacting the lives of others in the world.

Earlier this week I had dinner with some of my gal pals.  We’re all divorced, but happy enough.  It seems that we get together once in a blue moon to have dinner, drink some wine, and catch up on our lives.

K. had apparently danced in the Senior Olympics at the end of March with a guy from the dance club I belong to (but haven’t frequented since breaking my wrist).  I think that she and M. look “divine” dancing the waltz.  K. was highly critical of her performance, but I think she did splendid – she even has the waltz “head pose.”

Friends are important to celebrate each other and share each other’s lives.    I’m thankful for mine…

Unfortunately, much has changed since I started dating.  It’s a “whole new world” out there, and as usual I have much to learn.  In the RV group that I belong to many individuals form seemingly “instant” relationships, and then take off to travel in the the guy’s RV.  Not my style…  Besides, I have a lovely townhome in the desert southwest and an old (but paid for) RV.  Did I forget to mention Cali?  I’ve seen several members throw caution to the wind and shack up, decide to travel together.  Some of the relationships have longevity, but many are what some group members refer to as “teepee hopping.”  Sorry, just not my style…

The problem with this in my opinion is that an important step is bypassed for convenience sake.  In the really old days, it was called courting – in my generation it is referred to as dating, and now I guess it’s just “hanging out.”

A few weeks ago I was attending a wine festival with a certain someone (we each paid the entrance fee) and then he suggested we go out to dinner at Outback (dutch treat).  I was a little shocked, taken aback, offended.  If someone asks me to go out somewhere, then I expect (rightly or wrongly) for the check to be taken care of by the person doing the inviting.

In the cases where I have been the “person doing the inviting,” I pick up the check – it only seems the “correct thing to do.”  I’m torn between being a modern woman and the femme fatale that likes to be pampered.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a job with an adequate salary and am financially able to take myself to dinner, etc…  However, the old-fashioned romantic
Desert Diva likes to be revered, pampered – especially in a new relationship.

So, I ask gentle reader – what’s the happy medium?  In my way of thinking, it has to do with the person who is doing the inviting.  If he/she asks you out, they are financially responsible and vice-versa.  There are always exceptions like birthdays, etc… when you want to show someone you care.  Obviously, dating after fifty can be a drag.

Tell me what you think…

Shelly from This Eclectic Life started a meme several months ago called “Only the Good Friday.”  I’ve always wanted to “join in,” but as many of you know I haven’t been posting on a regular basis for the past few months.

I’m not too big on memes, and in the past have really only concentrated on Fleur-de-Lisa’s Manic Monday.  So, because developing a new pattern or view depends (in this case optimism) upon “dedication,” I’m going to give this a whirl.

It’s ironic that Shelly’s latest post refers to traveling and the comfort of being back home.  I’m just the other way.  I love to travel and wherever my antiquated RV and Cali are, I’m home.  I’m fortunate to work in a positon where I have a few weeks off in the summer, and use my tax refund to finance my summer sojourn.  Freedom is the word that comes to mind…

Speaking of money, I had purchased a pass ($320.00) to take Bikram or “Hot” Yoga from a local studio.  Unfortunately, I broke my wrist before using the pass and the studio recently went out of business.  The owner wouldn’t return my calls, and I went to visit just two days before they closed.  I was told I couldn’t  get my money refunded because they were bankrupt and there was no money.  Fortunately, I contacted my credit card company and provided them the receipt and an explanation.  My money was credited (even after a year) to my account.

At any rate, I give you this “twit” from Deepak Chopra that just popped up on TwitterFox:

Relaxation is the prerequisite for that inner expansion that allows a person to express the source of inspiration and joy within.

Have a relaxing and wonderful Memorial Day Weekend!

While it’s not officially summer yet, I’m gearing up for my annual summer sojourn.

Lately, I’m been recuperating from my second wrist surgery and going to occupational therapy.  It seems to be doing well, (everyone comments that I have a “nice” scar) but it will never be quite the same.  I won’t be doing any heavy duty lifting in the near future, and bicycling and kayaking aren’t on the “near future” horizon either.  I plan to take a couple (yes, I have more than one now) of wrist braces for hiking, etc…

Still, I have what many RV’ers describe as “hitchitch” – the desire to be “on the road.”  My “newer” RV (a 1985 Toyota Dolphin) is quite nice on the inside (at least I think so) and the larger RV will be much more comfortable for a trip.

My “plan” is to leave the first part of June (I’m going to an Ottmar Liebert concert with my “fanmencas” on June 4th in Santa Fe. )  After the weekend, I plan to travel through the Four Corners and Utah’s Canyon Country.  Then, a drive north through Moab, through Salt Lake City, Boise, and on to Oregon.   I hope to connect with some of my WIN friends on the Oregon Coast the end of the second week or the third week in June.

Not much left to do before the “big trip,” except choose what to take to wear (Oregon can be cool on the coast – even in the summer) and of course SHOES!  Happily, there’s a low but wide shelf under the RV sink where I store my shoes now! 

I can’t believe summer sojourn time is almost here!