May23
Dating – Financial Responsibilities
Unfortunately, much has changed since I started dating. It’s a “whole new world” out there, and as usual I have much to learn. In the RV group that I belong to many individuals form seemingly “instant” relationships, and then take off to travel in the the guy’s RV. Not my style… Besides, I have a lovely townhome in the desert southwest and an old (but paid for) RV. Did I forget to mention Cali? I’ve seen several members throw caution to the wind and shack up, decide to travel together. Some of the relationships have longevity, but many are what some group members refer to as “teepee hopping.” Sorry, just not my style…
The problem with this in my opinion is that an important step is bypassed for convenience sake. In the really old days, it was called courting – in my generation it is referred to as dating, and now I guess it’s just “hanging out.”
A few weeks ago I was attending a wine festival with a certain someone (we each paid the entrance fee) and then he suggested we go out to dinner at Outback (dutch treat). I was a little shocked, taken aback, offended. If someone asks me to go out somewhere, then I expect (rightly or wrongly) for the check to be taken care of by the person doing the inviting.
In the cases where I have been the “person doing the inviting,” I pick up the check – it only seems the “correct thing to do.” I’m torn between being a modern woman and the femme fatale that likes to be pampered.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a job with an adequate salary and am financially able to take myself to dinner, etc…Â However, the old-fashioned romantic
Desert Diva likes to be revered, pampered – especially in a new relationship.
So, I ask gentle reader – what’s the happy medium? In my way of thinking, it has to do with the person who is doing the inviting. If he/she asks you out, they are financially responsible and vice-versa. There are always exceptions like birthdays, etc… when you want to show someone you care. Obviously, dating after fifty can be a drag.
Tell me what you think…
Tough one. If someone invited me to dinner and then said the word, “dutch,” I’d be pissed off. Now, this is assuming that there is romantic interest here. It’s naturally understood if “just friends” were meeting up for dinner, however, “boy meets girl” type thing, I’d be thinking he’s a cheapskate or just a greedy mo fo. Agh!
That would totally annoy me. Although in the beginning of a relationship I would often pay my own just not to feel “obligated”, but it was MY idea! I understand that dating is different these days, but that doesn’t mean we have to change our standards. There are still plenty of men out there who know what courtesy and chivalry mean. No need to settle for less.
As for “teepee hopping” that sounds like a good way to spoil a vacation!
aw geez….you ask so many difficult questions….I bet someone has told you you think too much….they have told me that too….if you went to the wine tasting and each paid your own way in the guy may have been thinking of you as friends out together…..if he suggested Outback dutch treat….if I liked him at all, I would have gone along to see what was what….and there is the possibility that he couldn’t pay for anything but his own way right now….no job or something? it is a whole new world….and I don’t have a clue how to negotiate it….but I think you will figure it out…..just friends for a long time is probably the best solution…..teepee hopping….i wonder how much that happened with the Native Americans……
I think that whoever does the inviting should pay. Doesn’t matter if it is a man or a woman.
I’ve got to say that I agree with you on feeling that it’s nice to be pampered.