May09
The Most Hateful Words…
My mother is pictured on the right in each photo.
Lately, I’ve been reading “The Opposite of Fate: Memories of a Writing Life” by Amy Tan. She’s my “contemporary” (born in 1952), as well as one of my favorite authors.
In the book, Tan writes about her relationship with her mother and later the details of her mother’s battle with Alzheimer’s. She writes how one day her mother phones her and says, “I know I did something to hurt you.” Tan’s response was “you didn’t, don’t worry” – although the opposite was true. Her mother continues with “I hope you can forget, just as I’ve forgotten.”
My experience with my mother was more subtle – she would ask for me instead of my other siblings as her condition grew worse. She seemed to forget that I was that “troublesome child” that she chose to ignore and at times even reject. No this isn’t a “I hated my mother” rant. I loved her in my own way, but more importantly respected her as my mother. More importantly, the words that Tan wrote reinforce that “families aren’t perfect.”
I’ve thought quite a bit about the words Tan writes about her mother after her passing:
… she had bequeathed to me the most healing words, as open and eternal as a clear blue sky. Together we knew in our hearts what we should remember, what we can forget.
Happy Mother’s Day mom – I miss you…
2 Comments »Journal, Pondering Life
Beautiful – made me tear up.
.-= Sandi Edgar´s last blog ..Mother’s Day and the Circle of Life =-.
Lovely photos of your mom. I’ll have to add Amy’ books to my reading list.
.-= Luz´s last blog ..April Showers =-.