Wednesday * August 27th 2014

May Day?

Lately, I’ve been cleaning house and grocery shopping (WTF do vegans eat?) for a planned “guest.”  Suddenly, her wife no longer wants to be connected/married to her and she is in the process of “reinventing” her life as she knows it.  I “grieve” for her because I’ve “been there, done that” more than once.   There is no job or home for her to return to, and I want her to know that I support her and am always available to provide that support while she’s in transition and beyond.

God knows I didn’t always see eye-to-eye with my mother, but one thing she instilled in me is that “down home Kentucky” spirit of being a proper hostess.  I saw it again when long ago I visited the Alsatian region of France.  Everyone’s house I visited with my friend Chantal, invited us in for wine and food.  In Kentucky (Hazard in Southeastern Kentucky to be exact) is much the same – you “fix” your visitors full meals and make them as comfortable as possible.

So, the guest room is cleaned, the futon bed is made, and the refrigerator is full of “healthy” food.  It’s a southeastern Kentucky thing, my friends…

As for me, I’ve been pondering on the definition of love for the past few days.  At this point in my life, I don’t want any relationship that is “complicated.”  For years, I thought I’d be happy if I just found the “right person” and married again.  However, I know in the long run I’ll be “happier” (thank you very much) just to meet and interact with someone I can relate to.

I’m sorry for the “Tango” connection, but dancing the Argentine Tango has proven to me to be a way I can be “intimate” and still maintain my sense of self.  If done properly, Tango can be a form of surrender (as the follower) and finding the secret sensuality of another person (the leader).  Afterwards, I’m basically happy to “go home” and live my life.  However, I “do” need that human connection to survive and be content (happy).

Sad to say, I’m “girly-girl” enough to embrace the clothes, shoes, etc… that Tango brings to the floor.  I “like” to be admired and adored.  *sigh*  However, WTF – this obviously isn’t going to happen at 61 years of age.  I’m hard on myself.  Sometimes the nuances of the leader in Tango is so slight that I “wait.”  My private instructor told me yesterday – “When in doubt – move!”  However, I wrestle with the reality that I don’t want to make a mistake, etc…

Obviously, Argentine Tango is teaching me a lot about myself.  Some lessons are not taken so lightly and difficult to learn…

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15 Comments »Journal

15 Replies to Desert Diva to “May Day?”

  1. Gaelyn says:

    I have to agree about not wanting a live-in relationship but am always willing to take in a friend. Thank you.
    Gaelyn´s last blog post ..A week of wildlife in Kruger National Park South Africa

  2. Luz says:

    Nice of you to open your home to a person in need. Years ago, a friend of mine found out that her husband was cheating on her and she decided she had enough so she left in the middle of the night and ended up at my apt. w/her teen son. She finally finished college, is teaching & her son is finishing college next year. It took her a while but she moved on with her life. She lives close by in another apt. and seems to know when to call and invite me over for dinner/breakfast or lunch. I had dinner w/her last month & saw her son who gave me a big hug and thank you for being there for him and his mom–now and back then. Life teaches us hard lessons and sometimes we hold onto the reins too tightly. My advice to her some years ago when she was struggling in college was to let go of the reins and enjoy the ride. Spam word is life and it always seems to be appropriate.
    Luz´s last blog post ..Ode to the Morning Star

  3. Contessa CANADA says:

    Good for you for taking R in for a bit! I know you will be able to give her lots of support in addition to all that healthy food. As for you my young 61 year old friend, their is nothing wrong with any of your desires, be they emotional or physical. Sending you lots of hugs.
    Contessa´s last blog post ..Just stuff

  4. You’ve given me a downy place to land, and I am now and forever grateful. And, now you know what vegans eat. :D Thank you, friend.

    My spam word is “energy.” I’ll say that’s right for me. Not MY energy (=doesn’t exist), but the energy of friends who wish me well.

    Roxanne
    The Good Luck Duck´s last blog post ..Living in my 2004 Prius, “Spud.”

  5. Lynda UNITED STATES says:

    So happy Roxi will be staying with you and surrounded by all your caring and hospitality. You are truly a good friend! May you tango to your heart’s delight.
    Lynda´s last blog post ..Back to Tucson…Briefly

    • Desert Diva UNITED STATES says:

      It’s been good for me also to have the company of a house guest. As for tango, I’m in it for the “long haul!” :-)

  6. wheelingit UNITED STATES says:

    I know which friend is coming, and I’m very happy she’s going to a good place. Our thoughts are with her during this time.

    As for the Tango DO NOT give up!! I follow a blog (some folks who RV part-time & said part-time and she just wrote a wonderful story about her 83-year old Tango mom!! With heels and everything!
    Hope you don’t mind me posting the link:
    http://roadslesstraveled.us/free-spirit-travel-inspiration/

    Nina

  7. Kim UNITED STATES says:

    I just finished that book! I was hoping for some lurid details about bedding down with Warren Beatty but no such luck.

    DH and I once opened our home to a friend whose wife decided she didn’t want to be married after all. He was the first human we ever fostered and it was a real privilege to do so. He’s since remarried, has a couple of kids, and couldn’t be happier.

  8. mary UNITED STATES says:

    Hello Cheryl,

    I see you have taken in Roxi for awhile. I have followed the Duck Tale for about a year. I comment irregularly and blog even less regularly, but I’m out here in cyber space watching.

    I am a Kentucky gal too. I swear we all must have mommas that teach us how to take care of wounded souls. You are a treasure for Miss Roxi now. Let the healing begin. For me leaving was the hardest. Staying gone the next hardest (that’s where you come in) and then life can move on.

    Good luck with the vegan food. I could never be a good vegan for one reason. CHEESE.

    I ramble. Tell Roxi I send her loving energy and all my best wishes. It will be okay. The anti spam word was “faith”. Howzzat for an omen?

    Mary
    mary´s last blog post ..Calumet Farm

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