Saturday * May 27th 2017

Bearing the Unbearable…

Sorry for the “downer” post – tune out if you need to…

It’s been two months and my dog is still dead.

I made myself “busy” in the hopes that I wouldn’t “crash and burn” and be despondent.  Actually, that worked for awhile.  I traveled in my RV and kept busy.

I even “fell” for the bullsh*t of a man I met at the Bandera Dance Rally, who beckoned me to come to the Dallas/Ft. Worth area where he would show me a wonderful time and “treat me like a queen.”  Little did I know (but I did find out), that he dumped a woman in December/January, and after getting a jeweler in Puerto Penasco to fashion rings for ANOTHER woman he had a two week relationship with, that fizzled out too.  Luckily, another woman traveler came with me north and saw the “drama” unfold…

Jesus, Lord, have Mercy…

I’m home, and the loss is hitting me relentlessly.  Oh no, not the loss of the aforementioned guy – good riddance to bad rubbish.  It’s my heart dog’s death that I’m still struggling with at certain moments.  Last night was Saturday, and I was completely happy to cook dinner for myself, have some wine, and watch a movie with Cali being on the chair (HER CHAIR) beside me.  It’s OK that I don’t have a significant other, but I thought I’d always have Cali – until I didn’t.

Sorry, for not thanking people who reached out…

I do thank you, but the pain right now is raw and it feels unbearable.  I’m sorry, but this is the best I can do for now…

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